You know the
drill. You wait months and months and
spend a tidy sum to purchase tickets to a spectacular theater event – let’s
call it Hamilton. But somehow, this night that should have been
the magic of the genius of this show, the writing, the music, the actors, the
set – all of it is tarnished by the behavior of a few people who clearly were
never taught, or simply don’t care, how to behave while attending a theatrical
or cultural performance.
My night began
when, as I moved my knees to my right to place my purse under my seat, the
man next to me literally snapped his legs to hit mine sharply letting me
know I had crossed into his space. I
looked directly at him, smiled and apologized explaining I was just shifting to
maneuver my purse. He never acknowledged
that I was speaking to him but looked forward in silence. Wow.
The excitement
was evident as house lights went down (phone off and in purse) and we focused our attention to the stage. Or, tried to.
For during the opening, audience inspiring, powerful number in came four
late arrivals who made no attempt to enter quietly. It was THEN that they decided to work out the
seating arrangements, take off coats and be seated. Settled?
Oh, good. Now, the show.
But, say it
ain’t so. The very tall and somewhat
large (I say this as a plus-sized gal myself) couple in front of me sat
straight up, leaned into each other creating a physical wall blocking my view
completely unless I shifted my head far to the right next to the aforementioned
knee butter. We shifted right to left and left to right for the entire
production creating our own little dance.
Not to be
outdone, “Knee Butters” date decided that tonight was the night to express
interest in American History. “Who’s Lafayette?” was among her greatest hits.
Seriously. Her encore during the second
act was swirling the ice in her plastic cup to tap LOUDLY into her mouth to crunch during the most
heartbreaking of ballads. Three harsh looks and a “Seriously” under my breath
did nothing to deter her.
When the
curtain came down the show ended and, one would think, so would the bad
behavior. Alas, as we all waited our
turn to walk up the balcony stairs to the exit – all of us aware of the elderly
couple moving slowly – “Knee Butter” elbowed me out of the way to move ahead of
me and around said elderly couple.
All of this is
to say, when you are attending the theater, symphony, dance performance or
anything that is NOT a sporting event or rock concert, all of the above would
be included on a list of what NOT to do.
In the event no one has ever shared you some of the others, please, allow
me:
- Talking. Any talking. That’s why God created Intermission.
- Texting. Yes. We can see the light of your phone and hear the tapping.
- Taking photos or videos. Buy the program book.
- Eating. It’s a 90 minute show. How busy are you that you need to bring dinner into a theater?
- Leaving before the curtain call. The last thing the performers should see is an audience applauding. Not the backs of the heads of rude patrons running to be first to the parking lot.
I hope to see,
but not hear you, at a wonderful live theater experience soon.
This is one of our favorite clips form the movie White Christmas that sums up the Theater experience. Please enjoy!!
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